Priorities

We must all have priorities, so we are told. Friends, family, work, your own personal life - it's a huge balancing act, and when travelling, it becomes a huge factor in determining how your trip starts, goes, and ends...

Welcome back! That week went fast, right? Or is it just me? Clearly having too much fun - I think my story from this week, which spilled into a weekend, which then overflowed into early-morning antics on a Monday, would say that for one.

I'm still in shock that it was around this time last year I flew home from Australia after a month's holiday with my mum, visiting then-friends in Byron Bay. Trips to Noosa, various national parks, beach days, food and beers, to top it all of, a pub night with no other than Dizee Rascal. THE Dizee Rascal. DANCE WITH ME!

Yeah, a whole year just said hello and goodbye, and it feels like I barely got to get a word in myself. It's like, in the best way I can describe it, one of those random conversations you have outside of a bar with your mate, or on a walk home, that was originally supposed to be short-lived. The next thing you know, you're both deep into a few pints, a bowl of chips is already down you, you're considering that late night kebab, and choosing wether tonight is a sensible Uber home, or some unplanned marathon training. We've all ran home from a night out, right? Surely? 

Anyway, the point is, time fucking flies when you're having fun. Supersonic. I keep reflecting, especially when the phone is face down and I'm holding a book, sipping a coffee. This past year has been insane. Working in media professionally, appearing on TV, working with the Premier League, moving to a new country, new jobs, new mates - a bloody lot! Notice how I mention the positive things? We should do that more, be proud of yourself. Achievements can be made when travelling; the first comes when you sit down, take the hit on your wallet, and realise you've got the balls to go somewhere out of your comfort zone and just "do it". What is "it?" I guess that's the whole point. My intention wasn't to live in Sydney, sure, maybe pass through, but live? Nah. Well here I am. Almost moved to Brisbane, then we [me and Declan] changed our minds. When I first booked it, the plan wasn't even to have Dec there. See how when life just plays out, the strange, awesome and random things that can happen to supplement your trip, teach you new lessons, and guide you further down your path...

Talking of that path: priorities. How your choices impact your time travelling, and some examples of how they've impacted me. That's the theme today, in case that big bold title didn't give it away.

You could say, a pretty hectic week

Last weekend was really relaxed; breakfasts with friends, okay yes a busy working week, but it was wholesome. I enjoyed free time as much as I could, and to be honest much of it was alone. We all need that time to ourselves, and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel it's something we need more of, sometimes.

This week, in regard to last weeks relaxation, was the complete antithesis. From Thursday to Sunday, well no, Monday morning, I was either working on the bar, or drinking from one somewhere. My bed didn't see much of me. My sleep debt, if metaphorised, is essentially a students bank account right now - fuck all in it, and the overdraft well and truly spent. After this past few days, at the time of writing this, I'm spent. 

I used to get really upset and anxious after a night out because I felt like I was falling into a bad habit. Yes, drinking a lot isn't good, but I'm a 20-year old guy travelling Australia, spending time with amazing people, meeting new people along the way, and I work hard. Why shouldn't I be able to sink a few at the weekend without worrying? You party as hard as you work, and i'd like to think after the last couple of weeks I've earned it.

The important thing for me is money. Being sensible is so important. I can only allow myself to have those breakfasts, extra bits on the shopping list, nights out, etc, if I'm actively saving money, not splurging on dumb things such as clothes - one thing I've actually cut down on a lot in the last 3-4 months. So as long as I'm saving, know I have money coming in, and am being safe, for me that's a win win and fun can be had. 

Maybe you think I'm a lunatic, because that sounds like an awful lot of shit to think about, and type, to describe something pretty simple as having drinks with mates. But I'm an over-thinker, sort of always have been, and I can imagine it'll follow me around for a while.

Thursday was a new one. A new venue, sort of a leaving-do for Jakub. Few words on him, what a lad he is. Always good to work with, does his job, god knows how often I ask him for ice, extra wine, or anything stock-related and it's sorted near enough immediately. People who are good at their job should get more respect, regardless of what they do. I admire people like Jakub a lot. He goes home pretty soon, a real shame. I've come to become good mates with him, shared some beach days with him, Christmas Day most notably, a really pure, kind personality. I've had incredibly deep conversations with him, shared many secrets of mine, and opened up on a lot. I'm an open book, you should know this by now, I tell you way too much, I think, but for me Jakub has been a great friend, and I don't think words do him justice. A great lad, it'll be a shame to see him go, but I'd like to think he's a mate for life now. If you're reading this Jakub, good luck, I will absolutely be booking that flight to Germany and visit the bar you work at. As for surfing? We may need to go back to Aus, or nearer maybe Portugal, for that one...

Another person I'm grateful for, Samuel. He is a close friend of Jakub, they live together in a hostel near me, both of them work on stock and running food/drinks. Sam is someone else I've been very open with, and enjoyed working with. I won't write too much, because we have one more shift together, so next week's blog will have a bit of a tribute in it - but honestly, top, top guy. Will be missed. I know I'm not alone in saying that.

The rest of the weekend consisted of unplanned nights out, to some extent, a 20-minute turnaround from a Saturday night shift to a club, a festival on the Sunday, which went over into Monday - so, pretty crazy!

I'm sleep deprived, haven't eaten so amazingly, but what a weekend. More memories, more fun, deep conversations, and more. So good to see so many smiles, need a bit more of that!

I can't tell you why I feel so good...

I've documented it frequently over the past few weeks how much better I've been feeling as of late. Confidence in myself, less feeling of insecurity, feeling healthier, sleeping better (most of the time), and all the rest of it. I feel like I've levelled up, all of sudden. Just randomly. A rough Xmas, a bit of a 'meh' New Year at times mentally, to this. What happened?

No alcohol vs Alcohol, this was going to be my reasoning, but I can't even put my finger to that and say - "that's why I'm happy, no alcohol." Because honestly, that isn't the case. I think my mentality has genuinely just shifted. Holy shit, I go home soon - now what? Yeah, I need to make the most of my time here. Those little kicks up the arse are what we all need sometimes. A realisation that time passes, circumstances change, and good times, they end. Not always permanently, but at least for a moment or two. 

My mental health, I describe it like waves - constantly going up and down, sometimes you're pulled into the rip, but you just have to float. Pardon me if you cringed, but that's true - call me cringe if you like, I don't give a shit. When you next find yourself in a panic, a moment of insecurity, or challenge, just put the phone down - as that's usually the source of the issue - sit back, put some relaxing music on, and reflect. Not too much, just for a moment, then let it pass. Yes, easier said than done, but give it a try. Right now, I'm clearly sailing well, and the waves have been kind, I know things will change, but "make the most of a good surf," is how I'll put it - there's your metaphor, and you know I love one of those. Until a bad surf comes, and the waves inevitably try to drag me under, why shouldn't I enjoy the good waves, and the opportunity to enjoy them? There's my two-pence. 

I'm also very lucky to be in a position where financially I'm far more comfortable, I'm surrounded by good friends, I'm very in tune with my love-related life, I feel as though things are balanced, or at least to a good extent. When you satisfy all these anxieties, just settle them up a little bit, things become way better. To emphasise that, you know that any struggles you're facing will be done soon, and even then you are nullifying their affect on you to a great extent already, that has a huge positive impact. Oh and finally, beaches on your doorstep, lots of sunshine, you can't really be too sad with all that around you!

So, on priorities

It's hard not to have priorities in life in general, but especially when you travel. What do you want from your trip? What takes priority in order to achieve that goal? Do you need to be boring, work crazy hard for 1-2 months to save, and then go to South-East Asia? Or will you party hard, and just enjoy where you are? It's about what you want, and as much as I love being spontaneous, and doing spontaneous things, it comes with a price. The only way you can enjoy that spontaneity and actually act on it is by having some sort of priorities, and a level of sensibility.

Travel is freeing, but it has it's moments - sometimes it can honestly feel like a constant balancing act. Okay, got to pay rent, then food, then...save. You're always saving for the "next week," so sometimes it feels difficult to enjoy yourself, you're worrying too much about the next week, and that's why priorities are important, and allow you to make good decisions.

I've made so many mistakes it's ridiculous. Bought those clothes when I shouldn't have, those tickets to a gig, or that tattoo. Spending money on the premise it *should* be there next week. Don't spend if you don't have it, big bloody lesson. That's an example of one priority. I try not to make my words sound like advice, more like a journal, but I would absolutely, wholeheartedly encourage you to be smart from the day you land - while I hold no regrets, I know how much a spare $1k would have been a huge help to me!

Priorities allow you to have fun, spontaneously, just by being sensible. Get your shit together, have fall backs, don't get the most expensive accomodation, and just remember, esepcially in casual work, the next week isn't promised. Don't spend what you don't have, trust me!

Anyway, enough of me clamouring on...adult things...somewhat funny?

Adulting, boring stuff?

Vanish. Washing detergent. Old $1 coins. The staple of my Sundays. As it's my day off, guaranteed every week, of course the weather does its best to make sure any plans for a beach day are off, and that I'm resigned to being at home, washing clothes, and regretting not cleaning my room sooner. Sundays have rained almost every week for ages now, at least it feels that way. As much as I moan, listening to Pink Floyd while seeing out a washing cycle is somewhat sobering; boy do I need that on a Sunday, typically.

Pardon me if I sound a bit ridiculous - I probably do - but I feel like such an adult sitting there, bucket full of vanish and luke-warm water, washing away the Espresso Martini, alongside anything else, stains in my once-pristine White work shirts. I love work, but one thing I don't like, I mean it really gripes me, is white shirts. Okay, looks somewhat professional, true, but shaking cocktails? Dealing with syrups? Running food? H&M/Uniqlo must love me, the amount I spend on those bloody white shirts. Does this struggle make me an adult? Or the Sunday stain removal service, does that make me grown up?

Anyway, white shirts - I think I've fixed them now, so, Jamie for fuck sake move on. Other than this blog, I have to say it's my mum who takes the brunt of my weekly moans about life. So, sorry Mum, this one is coming right your way!

While on the 'adulting' topic, I'm 20, right. No relationship, or at least a serious one, living in a "Capital City" 10,000 miles from home. Valentines day always hits sort of hard, not going to lie. Honestly, I'm still figuring things out when it comes to love. When travelling, it's pretty hard to settle down. In all truth, in my first three months, I met one girl, and she remained the only person I "dated" in the time I lived in Byron Bay. She was awesome, and to be honest, it's a shame things didn't work in Byron, as she's a wonderful, kind soul. I'm a loud person, but I am quite deep, and enjoy spending quality time with someone I'm dating; she understood me well, I suppose things just didn't line up as I hoped. Life does it's thing, and we move on. 

Valentines used to hit a bit harder, just because I looked around me, a lot of my mates in relationships, I wasn't, so it lead me to spiral a bit. Why don't I have this? Why don't things really work out? Am I consistently doing something wrong? It's only when I flipped my perspective from: "what am I doing wrong?" to, "maybe it's just not right," the better things got. The measure of being a good person, a good human, someone who is lovable, is not by if you are currently in a relationship. Sure, it sounds pretty fun, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to spend valentines with someone I love, but it's not the be all and end all.

I try to veer away from this sort of talk, I love open-honesty, and do cherish what this blog means to me, so on the occasion I will share, but I just wanted to say how I felt. Perspective is important, and I suppose you just know when the time is right - I'm in no rush.

I did actually receive a rose this valentines. Okay, it was from a friend, but it's the little gestures - get yourself good mates like mine. That made my day.

This weeks take-aways 

Yep, we're back with the takeaways - no, not actual takeaways. Although, I did have GYG, Domino's and Macca's this week. Not proud of myself, but Beer, yeah, it leads you to the nearest seed oil loving shithouse. Boo. 

The biggest thing for me this week is realising just how quickly things are going, how soon this experience - temporarily - comes to an end (I'll be back), and that I'm now able to make plans with mates. I'm already booking coaching jobs in, some media bits, it's almost time to come home. 

I'm somewhat stuck between feeling homely, and homesick. Sydney absolutely has my heart, as does my home, Nottingham, my forever-home in my heart. I have to go back. My mates ask me, "why can't you just go home for a few weeks, then return?" but really, I need a good while back home. Time to spend with family, friends, anyone I love. You can't do that in weeks. I want to coach my team again, commentate on a Forest match again, and more importantly, hug my family. All of them. Being away from your family for a year, having moments where all you needed was that hug, that's bloody hard. You need months, if not longer for that.

I'm going to treausre absolutely every moment of this amazing journey; how privilged I am to be going home to a loving family, great mates, and hopefully a big, gorgeous pint of Guinness. 

What a week, I hope this next week comes to excite me even more. And to you, I wish you the best week! You reading this, especially to these words, means so much to me!

Keep sharing, emailing/texting in, it means a lot.

Have the best week,

Jamie x