Busy self, quiet mind?

I've asked everyone. Well, most people. Perhaps just a few, but still, the question stands - does having a busy life lead to a quiet mind? And if not quiet, is it at least less 'noisy?'

Yes, I'm talking in metaphors. Blog openings need to be cool and edgy according to some douche online, so why not join the trend, right? 

Seriously though, the idea of a noisy mind, or maybe "having a lot going on" is the reality for most of us. Personal circumstances, situations at work, balancing relationships, the challenges of day to day life, the cost of living - I could go on forever, but that probably wouldn't help.

Being busy is sometimes shunned; people mistake being busy as having no time for 'ones self,' but I beg to differ, in some respects. Oddly enough, I've felt most at peace when busy. My personal time has felt more valuable, when busy. Time with friends has felt more personable & relaxing, when the time I have things to do after. It gives me clarity knowing I have that routine, a system for which I can work by, and structure my time around.

Not everyone is the same. There is nuances to this, so do not take my question as any form of statement, there's balance to be had, and I'll discuss that shortly. But let's open the blog with that question of wether keeping busy leads to a quiet/quieter mind...?

If you couldn't tell already, this week has been a busy one, hence the thought. There's been some rough mornings on limited sleep, and some late nights where you're searching for that "pick me up". I've had a lot on my mind, and lots to get do, but seemingly despite the hectic schedule, things are being done, my mental health is improving, I'm feeling better, and more.

An interesting week...

"If you pray for rain, you have to deal with the mud too"

A famous quote from Denzel Washington, what an actor by the way, who looked unsurprisingly nonchalant at the Lakers game this week, if anyone of you saw?

I'm not here to go on about my avid liking for one of films greats, as much as I'd love to, I could talk about the 'Equaliser' series for hours, but more so his quote. Praying for rain [good times?], and dealing with mud [shit times?]. 

Over January, hours at work dried up, I'd run out of money after having time off with an injury at work, and in general was just getting by. The odd coffee here and there, it was enough, but I couldn't really have fun. I need that night out, or that day trip every now and then, I felt a bit isolated. I 'prayed' for hours to pickup, to have routine again, have that financial freedom I've waited ages for. Well, finally, it's come.

It's easy to resent a situation; resent a manager, whoever, you always want to find someone to blame for some problems you may have. No money? Work's fault. No routine? No roster [rota for my english friends], etc. Never, No money? My fault, should've thought about only going out once, or just living by my means more. While I didn't blame work for my money issues, I did also not take enough accountability for my spending at times, and I regret that. Like I've said before, I've borrowed from my parents, and I'm not proud. It's taught me lessons.

You may remember last week me mentioning a bit of a situation with my housing bond. Well, there's $1.2k* waiting to come to my account, when it'll happen I'm not sure, it's complicated. Immediately, my brain thinks: budget like you've got the money, that [bond] will eventually pay for it. I'm trying to be smarter, though. Now I don't have that money, and yes I will likely soon, but the point stands, it isn't with me now, my plan is to save more than that amount. The reason? Well, extra savings, but also to give myself the cushion I should really have right now, but circumstances dictate otherwise. One thing I'm learning more is that, while I can't control that money being out of my pocket, I can control the money in my pocket, or that will be come pay day. 

That's just a note on money, something that gave me great stress, but I'm now working around, and being smarter regarding. So what is the "mud" I mention? Yes, you prayed for hours, finally having some extra cash, but where's the mud amongst all that?

Well, work is transactional, right? Your time = money. An hour is your sacrifice, x$ is your price for that. You don't get the time back, sorry to be so morbid, but also you don't get to spend time freely when working. Spending time freely usually equals some sort of happiness, therefore, you need to balance your desire for money with your desire for free time to spend alone, with friends or family, or whatever you choose. That balance is where the mud is - sacrifice. 

This is, I think, my second longest work week since moving here. Lots of hours. I took on an extra shift, voluntarily, making it a six-day week. Closing every day. Now maybe I can moan a bit, "work every day, blah blah blah," but isn't this just the mud? Didn't I once pray not only for hours, the pay, etc, but actually just having a job? I lost my old job in Sales in November. I cried when I lost my job, and almost bought a flight home, this job kept me here and gave me the chance to finally enjoy Sydney, and wider, the country (coming soon...). I prayed for all of this. I'm trying to be more grateful. I don't note down my gratitudes, albeit a great idea, but I mentally note them. Right there at the top, especially now, is work. I have my moments where I hate it, but who doesn't? Dropping drinks on yourself. Dropping a box on your foot. Messing up. It all happens, but it keeps you in a routine, and most importantly, gives you the means to enjoy yourself. That pair of 'Jorts' you like? Yeah, go get them - p.s, I need to get some as a burst pen ruined my current ones (not happy). That trip to Melbourne, work pays for it. How lucky I am to have a job, and not only a job, but this one. It's a big family, I'm looked after, everyone cares about you, and that goes a long way. After how I felt in my previous job, the change was huge. And obviously, it pays well, so you absolutely cannot complain.

So the mud is that work you have to put in, the hours lost, but christ is it worth it. I think I've matured a lot in this job too. I used to complain about a 4-10, but now I frequently work till the early hours of the morning, I've learned a lot more about work ethic, not something I've ever had issues with necessarily, but I've become stronger mentally, and developed my working mindset even more, that's for sure.

It's okay to moan, have a 'whinge' about work, we all do it, we do it all the time. But also, remember, even if not in the position you want to be in, you probably prayed for the opportunity to earn money, pay for dinner yourself, treat someone you love, etc. Remember that. Looking back is often crucial to realise what you should truly be grateful for. 

So does being busy actually lead to a quiet mind?

Long debated idea, this. Busy = quiet mind? Maybe. I'll say it, for me, the large majority of the time I'm busy, I typically have a quieter mind when it comes to existing issues that are non-work related, or related to the thing keeping me busy. My mind is loud pretty much 24/7, and, not to sound like a performative arsehole, I struggle to relax. Not because I'm some workaholic, but because unless I'm super passionate about something, or under pressure, I often struggle to focus. I don't know what it is, nor do I desire a label for it, but it makes days off hard. I can't properly relax, or maybe, just maybe, I overthink relaxation; consequences that come with it, that's what I worry about. Maybe you're sitting there thinking "dude, just chill. Watch TV, do something," but I just struggle to do that. Laying in bed "longer than I should," yeah, that makes me anxious. Watching TV, a cheeky 'scroll', playing games, it all makes me spiral. I worry I'm stationary, not doing anything to progress - completely neglecting the fact that, and it is a fact, relaxing and having chill/downtime is crucial to energy production and sustaining the ability to complete tasks to the best of ones ability.

Being busy stops this. I'm active, working towards something, long-term or short-term, it all applies. So when I stop, that's what gets me. Momentum loss, that's a killer. Sharks stop swimming they die, well, a bit of an exaggerated comparison, but that's how I feel with life often - the moment you stop, you have to restart, or you lose progress. I'm a logical person, I'd like to think somewhat intelligent, I know that this is all mostly irrational, but getting past it, thats an absolutely mountain climb at the best of times.

Maybe the quiet mind when busy is just a short-term fix. Maybe. Sometimes I come out better, sometimes worse. What I'm learning more is that, well, life is actually fairly simple in what you need, and don't need. A) I need to sleep more B) I need to do more of what makes me happy, rely less on others C) Get on with it. Rather than searching for something to make me busy, I let the feeling exist, acknowledge it, and find the solution. Yes, trauma, and other conditions can't be fixed in a moment, if ever, but can you channel it? I've found with discipline, perhaps simple morning exercise, you can achieve more in your day. All by saying, I will complete X, and afterwards, achieve Y - eventually leading me to Z. Exercise is an example, it can be anything. Set an intention for the week, and try to live by it. I'm investing in my principles, and to be honest, just staying on that idea of being spontaneous that I've been banging on about for bloody ages.

I'm keen to know your thoughts. Louder when relaxed, quieter when busy? Consistently loud or quiet? I want to know how you feel.

Trying, with effort, to 'steal' a frying pan

A bit less serious, well at least for the humorous side, I take my kitchenware seriously...as far as Kmart & co are concerned anyways...

My mate, and flatmate, Gioelle, left for New Zealand this week. He's a loud character. Slightly older than me, Italian, lover of Football (Calcio), beach days, and, you guessed it, cooking. Pretty much mostly Pasta, as he'll attest, before anyone comes at me regarding stereotypes. Not that I'd give a shit, we all know Italians love it, and having lived with a few now, my point is only more dense with evidence. Anyway, New Zealand. He's gone. No guarantee he lives here again, but we both pray he will.

The day I moved, I will never forget meeting him in - what our landlord would, but I'd argue is a stretch - courtyard. "HEY BRO!" his most common line, with his Italian accent. Still never went for the beer we discussed, but life gets in the way, we've shared many chats in the kitchen, usually when cooking. I cook late, or early, no in between really. Often caught him after football, he played somewhere in the West of Sydney I believe, decent player by the looks of it. We've become good mates, and honestly one topic we've discussed the most is protein, Tuna to be specific. It's random, but we are both trying to get bigger using the gym, and a succesful diet. When we discovered $3 large cans of Tuna, around £1.49 ish, it was like a superior moment of bonding. Can't say I often bond with people over Tuna, but we both were in awe over it; was like we had discovered fire, for fuck sake. Makes me laugh.

On the topic of cooking, the frying pan. Large, non-stick, double handled. One large, primary handle, then another for easy handling and movement, presumably for how heavy it gets. Dwarves all of our pans in height, only being beaten by a stainless in width, but if you wish to cook large qualities, especially Pasta, you need a pan with heavy volume. I love the stainless, but it can't offer that. The moment I saw Gioelle using it, it made me think of all the times I've had to use countless pots for cooking, boiling and mixing, whereas now I can cook it all together. Pasta cooked in sauce, directly. Dream shit. I needed that pan. He said I could borrow it, but I almost felt unworthy of asking him. Knocking on his door at 12:30 midnight, or later, to ask for a pan? Not sure about that one. I never struggled without it, but I knew how much I needed this pan.

Okay, I'll be honest, it costs what, $30+ from Kmart? Maybe I'm just lazy, and didn't fancy the 30 minute trip to Glebe, okay? Yes, I've lived here since November, and what? I wanted the pan, even if we are just all sharing it - by all, I mean because I live in a share house, a busy one too.

You'll be pleased to know, I got my wish. The pan, not mine, but easily accessible. Every day. I bulk cook my meals, four at a time usually, and now I can reduce the pots used, and cook better. What a feeling. Never stop dreaming people, you might too one day get that Kmart pan you've manifested about cooking with. Lol.

My first dish? A turkey mince, 1kg of it, fettucini pasta with tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, garlic, various seasonings, etc. Needs more sauce next time. Also cooked in some wine with it, admittedly leftover wine from a work function that I was offered. Don't be wasteful, be resourceful, right? Maybe not with an expensive bottle of wine, but sod it. I'm not a huge wine person, so $15, or $150, if it's leftover, it's going in my pan. If it's late, maybe I'll have a dash, straight from the bottle.

Gioelle also left a suitcase. Not much use, full of his stuff, but I'd say it's a fair trade. All until he said "bro, can you get my guitar? Otherwise it'll be thrown away, and immediately, I knew this was no fair trade. I'd just got the best deal in history. Make a Netflix documentary about me right now. hahaha.

A guitar, finally

I used to learn as a kid. Lessons were expensive, and honestly I just didn't really care for it. Mostly it was good because you could leave lesson early. "Miss, guitar time, got to go," responded with "just give it a few minutes," - absolutely not, my parents pay for this...I went, never practiced at home, and to be honest I reflect on this, because little did I know how profound music would be for me growing up. Guitar-heavy music especially.

For a while I was even in a band, called 'League 66, search it up on instagram, funny as fuck. My little chubby cheeks, and stupid haircut. Matched with the fact we took it serious and it never went anywhere, that made me laugh. I was the lead 'singer', my lord what a stretch.

Anyway, enough self-roasting, onto Gioelle's guitar. Don't know the brand, but I do know this - it has six strings, and every bastard one of them is horrendously out of tune. First mission, tune it. A few google searches later, it's tuned. I don't really have a long-term goal with the guitar, but I want to learn three songs: "Wish you were here", Pink Floyd, "Nutshell", Alice in Chains, and "Wild Horses", Rolling Stones. Three songs, different impacts and tones, but the meaning, that's what matters. I went through a rough time in Byron Bay, as you know, these three were instrumental, pardon the pun, in my mental maturation. The guitar, it hits so much deeper, I just love it.

Why guitar? More accessible. How many people do you know with a sax? I love the blues, or love-making music, but I can't just find one that easy. Pianos? Love them, but who just has one laying around? Guitar's though? Everyones dad and uncle has one laying around. Knowing how to pluck a few strings, crack a few smiles, and maybe jerk a few tears, that's the skill I want. Maybe I've contradicted myself and shared a long-term goal, but you get the point.

I'm remembering the names of notes, and learning my chords; so far, I've learned the opening to 'Aerials', System of a Down, Nu-metal band, and 'Wish you were here,' Pink Floyd. The Pink Floyd song resonates with me a lot, since the passing of my grandad especially. I miss him so much. Now being away from family, especially in those lonely moments where I need a hug, that song hits home. Just a shame home is 10,000 miles away. Agh. Let's not get to deep into that!

It's one of my resolutions, or really, 2026 goals. It's high up there for me. I want to go home, play the guitar, and have that skill. What an achievement. I can't wait to keep learning. Hitting that riff for the first time, what a feeling. I often wonder, what would a 'jam' with my grandad, or as I called him, 'Gumps', be like. Never take people for granted, I'd give up everything to have him here, even just for one song.

This weeks take aways

Let's not be too morbid, hey. This week has been good. You can probably tell by how many words I've wrote, surely over 1,000? Not that I care to count, or check. Work battered me, yes, but boy do I feel good. Maybe the coffee I had before writing this helped, or that banana bread, a wonderful concoction of sugar & caffeine, springled with coco & butter. Yum.

I forgot to say, I got a tattoo this week. "Cooks rule! Show up on time, do the work!" - a sketch from a signature done by Anthony Bourdain. I won't ramble about him, you know I love the character he was, and the message he left for us, and that lives on, for me this tattoo was a salute to him, a recognition of his principles and my resonation with it, while also remembering my grandad. Hospitality is in our blood because of him. He was a chemist turned pub landlord, and cook. He ran numerous pubs, made great food. The slicked hair, Irish music and sight of him removing fish bones in the morning from whatever he ordered in, that tattoo is a tribute to that. to him. He always said "we don't employ chef's, we employ cooks [in the business]," and it relates to the imperfection of cooks. But their resourcefulness, creativity and often unrecognised talent. I cook at home, but I'm not a cook - but that message is wider. This was a sentimental one for me, and now I'll carry it for life. God, I love tattoos - for that, I have to thank my step dad and mum. Also Terry, the tattooist of my first piece, as now I'm well and truly addicted.

I'm not perfect, but this week I've felt much better; water not quite off of a duck's back, but I deal with issues better. Don't rise to things so easily. Take a step back. Talk slower. Speak only when necessary. Strum slower, on the guitar. All these things, just relax, be slower.  More calculated. Etc.

I hope you have a brilliant week, maybe take away a thing or two from mine, lord knows I've probably missed out a lot from my week. But hey, I tried!

Have the best time, keep being grateful, and don't hide that beautiful smile!

See you next week,

Jamie